I think this definitely works. The POV switch is in a good place, and I think that Dean has as much invested in this being good as Sam does and a lot more blocks to it being good. So, seeing his POV works for me. I agree with you I'd like to see more development of it, but I think that'll work out well in finishing the scene.
Did I mention it's really really really hot? Because it is! Very hot.
Weird twitch of mine, Sam calling Dean's vagina a pussy. It feels weird to me. I don't think it's because it doesn't work. It's just such an odd thought, you know? Softer and less defensive/aggressive than 'cunt'.
But I think that discomfort mimics Sam's so that works very well. Go you. I like!
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2008-01-13 01:50 am (UTC)Did I mention it's really really really hot? Because it is! Very hot.
Weird twitch of mine, Sam calling Dean's vagina a pussy. It feels weird to me. I don't think it's because it doesn't work. It's just such an odd thought, you know? Softer and less defensive/aggressive than 'cunt'.
But I think that discomfort mimics Sam's so that works very well. Go you. I like!