So, this is the re-edit and expansion of the Sam/Girl!Dean sex scene from here. It's posted in its entirety, so you don't have to go back and check the old entry. I think...I think I feel better about it. I worry that the sex is too fast, but otherwise I think it's fairly solid. I hope so, anyway.


I want to try again. )
More of the genderswitch/swap/fuck...whatever. In theory, this happens IMMEDIATELY after the first, disasterous attempt at fucking.

I'm very iffy about this. I don't know if it's too soon, I don't know if the Dean from the previous scene would be able to relax to this degree. I'm not sure about the tension and pacing. I'm worried that it's coming off as too non-con. I'm worried about the transiton from oral to fucking. I don't know if the scene break works, giving me the reset to have that transition more smoothly or whether it just breaks the tension too much and I should stay in Sam's POV the whole time. I don't know if it makes sense for Sam. Clearly, I just don't know.

I think...I think there's something here about Sam and how, despite his best intentions, some of his perception of Dean DOES shift because he looks at him and sees a woman. And how the reality of his viewpoint alters the emotional viewpoint, bringing out this even more tangible desire to protect. To be chivalrous. And, to some extent, because Sam is allowed to have internalized skanky issues like the rest of us, how much that chivalry lends itself to a certain amount of chauvinism. I see Sam as kind of...controlling here. And I don't think it crosses the line. I hope not, anyway, but at the same time, i think Sam does have this incompletely hidden need to assert some control over the situation and it translates itself to having a certain measure of control over Dean. I think there's a lot of alpha male possessiveness coming to the fore because it's not just women looking at Dean, which are less competition, it's guys. And they're not being particularly respectful or subtle about it and in that respect, Dean was always SAM'S. And he can see Dean feeling vulnerable and frustrated and uncomfortable, but he can't change the nature of mankind. All he can do is offer the typical protection of 'This woman is marked, this woman is taken", like dogs pissing on a hydrant.

I also, if I stick with Dean's POV in the second half, want to play up more how he doesn't like it and he does. It's pleasurable but at the same time, he feels a kind of guilt about it. These aren't his parts, he's not supposed to be feeling pleasure with them (and beneath that, a subconscious layer of IF I feel pleasure with these girl parts, I may never get my boy parts back) and yet, he very much IS feeling pleasure. And there's a dirtiness to it that I want to express more fully. It feels wrong and weird...but it's also the wrong and weird that's getting him off.


Read more... )
Okay. So this is the same scene as yesterday, but with the end filled out and moving into the next scene, wherein The Boys Go Shopping For Tampons. I don't know. I worry that it's too flip. But I can't help it. Boys and tampons are inherently funny. I'm also not sure about Sam using a certain word. This is the problem with not writing linearly; I don't know where the edges are going to smooth together. I think the funny parts are necessary to both highlight the angst and I think/hope their relieve the angst, give a little breathing space between the next hit. I really want to show how Dean tries to roll with (or cope with) each successive "problem", only to be hit by the next. That'll be key to selling his mental decline.

These sound like a man's tampon. )
I've had this scene in my mind for a few days. As usual, I'm really iffy about it, but I think the general gist is here. This is another of those parts that I find laugh out loud funny at the same time that it breaks my heart. Super rough and incomplete.

You broke my cunt. )
Genderswap. After talking to [livejournal.com profile] girlguidejones, I had the idea for this scene. Since I more than hit my Nano target for the day, I took the time to scribble it down. First draft, so usual disclaimers about quality apply.

This scene follows immediately on from here.


You didn't have any problems fucking me when I had a cock. )
So, after the comments I got from [livejournal.com profile] mickeym and [livejournal.com profile] technosage, I realized that I really haven't been thinking about the ending of Girl in the World and I really had no idea what I was working toward. So then, being me, the boys in the back started thinking about it.

And this is what I came up with )

So then, after kind of thinking up all of that, this is what resulted:

Do I need to mention this is spoilery? )
I'm not sure this is what I meant to write. I don't know how I feel about it. I feel like I want this scene both ways; parts of it really would work better in Dean's POV, but the confrontation should definitely be through Sam's. It's one of those things that's all the worse for being the other person and only being able to react and being helpless and sad. I don't know. I also am of two minds about where it fits in the timeline...not that I have the timeline worked out. But my original thought is that this would pretty much go during the afternoon of the same day after the last part I wrote, but the way it actually came OUT sounds like it's much later. Of course, having no timeline, I really don't have a good grasp of what happens when or how long this thing will eventually turn out to be when I quit dabbling with it and actually get serious about writing it. There are lots of parts of this story that make me sad, but this one is really sad to me. I think this is one of the times it REALLY starts to hit home for Dean and wear on his mind in not good ways.



Read more... )
This all needs to be filled out more.

more genderswap )
I swear. This story only talks to me when I'm trying to get some FRAKKING SLEEP. This would be the morning after Dean and his adventures with The Ace Bandage. It's not exactly the way I pictured it, but I'm tired and it can be made pretty LATER.

Read more... )
Post bra shopping. The boys go back to the motel. Not sure if the part with Dean looking at himself is too exposition heavy. Not sure if I want to end the scene there or extend it.

Read more... )
So this is basically the other half of the scene. I don't know. It feels sparse and I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. This part is very visual in my head; as much about how they LOOK and what's going on in space as it is about what they SAY and I'm not confident that that's coming across properly. I do like the way it's starting to do the slide from 'ha ha isn't this funny, Dean is a girl!' into the angstier part of the story.


Read more... )
More genderswap. Tentative title is "Girl in the World", from No Doubt's "I'm Just a Girl". Part 1 of the bra shopping scenario. I'm of two minds about how much the boys know about bras and breast size. Written in 20m.


Read more... )
This is the shit that pops into my head WHEN I AM TRYING TO SLEEP, for heaven's sake. I had to boot the computer back up for this! SO RIDICULOUSLY ROUGH DRAFT/STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS.

more genderswap stuff )

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thecatevari

August 2009

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