[personal profile] thecatevari
Okay, so I'm really struggling with where to go with Save As and how to frame everything that I want to say. And whose POV it should be said in. Right now, I'm still guestimating this will end up being 20,000 words, at minimum.

The initial scene is the catalyst; Lucy intruding into the safe space that Matt and John have constructed and changing it. At the moment Lucy shows up, the fact that John is still completely closeted and that Matt still has unresolved issues of his own come to the forefront.

So what are those issues?

John: Conflict about his 'newfound' queerness. Guilt about what this means in terms of his family; how this will change their opinion of him. Guilt about clogging up Matt's life, whether Matt would be better or happier with someone else, someone his own age. There's guilt inside the relationship; his unwillingness to bottom, his residual "faggot" feelings about being with another man.

Matt: PTSD about the fire sale. He stopped therapy after a few sessions and just shut down. Guilt/worry that he's ONLY with John because John makes him feel safe. His nightmares. Worry that John won't be able to handle being with him in the long term; that the pressure of his family or queer fear or general JOHNNESS is going to end up with him dumped on his ass. Residual masculine worry about wanting to spend the rest of his life with a man twice his age AND, in all likelihood, as the bottom of the relationship.



Okay, so I've already established the first scene.

Scene two; I'm of two minds whether I want to include early morning porn here or not. I think the story will actually be pretty short on smut over plot and so this would be a good non-awkward place to shoehorn some in, I think it would show both their attachment to each other and their desire to gloss past their problems (with sex) rather than talk about them.

Next is where Lucy calls up Matt and invites him out for coffee. I really need to refresh myself on where they're all ostensibly located. My east coast geography is so completely sketchy. And…Andre informs me that my understanding of Matt's location in relation to DC is totally wrong. CRAP. Need to rethink that part, then.

NY to Camden 1.5 hours
NY or Camden to Rutgers is 45m (it's between them)
Camden to DC is 1.75 south

Okay. Rutgers Winter break (omg, the research I need to do for this stupid story) in 2008-2009 is December 23-Jan 19. So Lucy is not at Rutgers. Which raises the question of why she didn't go to California. So let's say, as in my original thought that Holly is or has come in for Christmas with her parents. Let's say Lucy was down there Christmas Day, but is planning on spending the rest of her break with friends in NYC, which is how she ends up at John's on Dec. 26. (need to revise scene one to insert this info)

So. Fine. Dec. 27. Lucy is staying in NYC and that's when she calls Matt out for coffee and a heart to heart. She recognizes that Matt may/does have some hero worship going on. She tries to—kindly, for Lucy—warn Matt off. Matt isn't convinced, obviously, but the seeds of doubt are planted. (Matt POV)

Would Lucy call John? Read him the riot act for trying to be a father figure for Matt when he can barely maintain a relationship with his own kids? If so, she could inadvertently rat Matt out about how he quit therapy and stuff. (not sure this scene shouldn't be incorporated with the next one. Hmmm. If not, John POV)

So John comes home already out of sorts after the conversation with Lucy (or is John already at home…remember, he's still off work until New Year's; if so, Matt's the one coming home) and Matt is out of sorts too—less from the conversation with Lucy than his own doubts and fears. So. Does John start the fight, confronting Matt with quitting therapy? Of course he does; John's not one to leave stuff alone. So they have a big honking argument. In the middle of it, Holly calls and asks John if he would come down to her parents' in DC for a family dinner; she has some stuff she'd like to talk about. John agrees; Matt's disgusted the way John's still at her beck and call. This is where John pulls out the "you've never had to care about anyone in your life" line. Matt leaves. Possibly with a snotty, "I cared about you" attached. (John POV)

I think I need at least a LITTLE time for the boys to miss each other. So. Let's say the dinner is set for Dec. 30. Dec. 29, John's feeling low and miserable about the whole thing. He calls up Matt and they don't apologize so much as they do that thing where they ignore it ever happened. John mentions he's got to go down to D.C. for the dinner and Matt says "Why don't you come down; it's a much shorter drive from Camden to D.C., Christ, otherwise you'll be in the car all damn day." John agrees to come down. (Matt POV)

IF I'm going for more smut, this would be a good place to insert one. John looks at Matt's place and realizes how unfinished it looks, like no one really lives there. He thinks about how much time Matt's been spending with him, up at his place. He casually asks Matt if he's still planning to move up to NY. Matt freezes and gets wary face. John comments it'll be nice to have Matt around more and things unfreeze again. Later, when Matt's sleeping and John's winding down, John thinks about asking Matt to move in with him and wonders if that's crazy. (John POV)

Dec. 30. John goes to meet Holly & Co. for dinner. Holly informs him that she wanted to have this sit-down because they're worried about him. "You mean Lucy's worried about me." Holly paints a picture of Matt as a disturbed young, bisexual man with a crush on John and lectures him on how unhealthy it all is. She points out that John didn't even know all this stuff about Matt and how unlike John that is, to not investigate all the angles, do the background check. Etc. They're interrupted by news of a hostage situation. And the footage shows one of the perps using Matt as a human shield. John freaks out and has to go. (John POV)

Dec. 30 (cont'd) The hostage situation. This is the weakest part of the whole plot because I have NO idea how to frame it or how I would go about getting John inside. I'm thinking maybe John doesn't go inside at all, but has to remain a bystander. Though…that's not very like John. I also think maybe Matt could turn up as the hero and John teases him about Matt bucking for his job. Matt assures him he's PERFECTLY HAPPY for John to be the action hero. (Hmmm. Maybe I should have something about either a news camera catching John kiss Matt or John deliberately kissing Matt in front of all the news crews). (John POV)

Dec. 30, fading into 31st. I'm liking the kissing in front of the camera idea more, because, given my Camden/DC screwup, it's unlikely John's going to want to drive (or make Matt endure the drive) back to DC to confront the family. So. Let's say Matt wakes up and John's on the phone with Lucy, saying he understands and he'll explain everything later. Matt asks John if he needs to leave. John says neither one of them are going anywhere. Somewhere in here, John tells Matt about his therapist. Matt is surprised John has ever seen a therapist that wasn't under duress. (Matt POV)

Night, Dec. 31. They watch the news; John McClane outing himself on national TV is above the headline news, so it's all over the place. Matt wonders if this is going to make trouble for John. John: "Haven't you learned by now, kid? I love trouble." Matt: "Liar." (if I think I can get away with it, John thinks, well, I love you) John (aloud): "So I've been thinking about this whole moving to NY thing." Matt: "Yeah?" "Yeah. New York's expensive. What's the point of paying rent on some place you're hardly ever going to be?" "You got somewhere else I'm going to be, McClane?" "Look, I didn't get Holly a diamond until we were married for three years. If you're looking for poetry and roses, you're doomed to disappointment. But you've already got a key and everybody in the freaking world knows about us at this point, so…" Matt kisses him. Later. "But you don't touch the collectables, got me?" John laughs and kisses Matt. "Happy New Year, kid." Matt: "You know I love you, right?" John, kind of taken aback but still pleased. "Yeah. Me too." Matt *scrunchface with a smile* "Happy New Year, John." (John POV)

FIN
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thecatevari

August 2009

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